A thrill of hope
- Danielle Gram
- Dec 6, 2022
- 3 min read
Updated: Feb 7, 2024
The lyrics of "O Holy Night" are a beautiful poem that exemplify the heart of Christmas. Let's turn our attention to just one of its powerful messages...
Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year! But, if you've experienced a loss, the holidays can feel heavy and painful. Loss comes in innumerable forms... a death, health diagnosis, divorce, a rift between family members, becoming an empty nester, moving, or losing a job, just to name a few.
My family has experienced a wild roller coaster this year. My daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy, my sister married, and my father died. I had emergency gallbladder surgery and traveled to Africa, and 2022 is not over! Eeek!! To say I'm weary is a gross understatement. Girl, I have been downright soul-tired and overwhelmed with sorrow. If you haven't felt that way at some point this year, you know someone who has.
Thankfully, we have the "thrill of hope" in this weary world and busy Christmas season. Amid our grief and sorrow, we can still rejoice! Feel the loss, but allow joy to permeate it. You don't have to stop crying to laugh. You don't have to forget the bad memories to recount the good ones. And you don't have to be healed from your wounds to celebrate your blessings. Jesus is with you. He knows the depths of your pain. He's sharing your deepest sorrows and bringing you JOY through it to a new and glorious morn.
Responding to a Friend's Loss
As a 14-year hospice volunteer, I'd love to share suggestions on supporting your friends through loss. Avoid clichés like, "She's in a better place," "You're better off without your ex," "You didn't need that job anyway," or even things like "I know what you're going through." Each person's situation and feelings through the grief process are unique. Stick to something like, "I'm so sorry you're going through this," "I'm praying for you," or "Please know I love you and I care."
Also, avoid generic, open-ended statements like "Let me know what I can do" or "Call me if you need anything." Get specific...
"I'd love to bring you a meal next week. What day is good?"
"How about I pick up your kids after school so you can have some time to yourself?"
"Would you like to go for a walk?" And listen and let them talk.
Send a DoorDash gift card or Instacart some groceries to their house.
Donate to a meaningful organization, or send a handwritten card or flowers.
Be sure to continue your support throughout the year. Mark important dates on your calendar and follow up. Most people are overwhelmed with well-wishers in the early days after a loss. But remembering and supporting your friend in the less common times can be more meaningful. Acknowledge the "firsts"... the first birthday in heaven, Mother's Day without mom, wedding anniversary without their hubby, Christmas without Grandma, the anniversary of their death, etc.
And most importantly, don't forget your grieving friends during the holiday season. Reach out to someone who is hurting. You can bring comfort to your friends, even in their pain.
Resources for Depression, Loss, & Grief
Your local nonprofit Hospice provides free grief counseling to the community, whether or not your loved one was in Hospice. They often also provide unique services to kids or support groups for loss by suicide or overdose. Click here to connect with them.
If you believe you may be struggling with depression, please get in touch with your doctor. God created doctors with intelligence (and resources and medicine) to help determine the best for your body and health.
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